Done With the Guilt

I am DONE with the GUILT!

My kids are happy and healthy. 

My kids love Jesus. 

That's my goal, my prayer and my job. 

And so far, I'm doing a-okay at it. 

I'm done with the guilt: That I'm not doing enough. That my kids watch too much TV. That we eat fast food too often. That we treat everyday like it's Saturday. 

That I'm letting my kids be little. We play. A lot. And guess what. I let my kids be little because that's exactly what they are. They're little. 

I'm an organized, scheduled person who has always chased perfection. Giving myself little room for grace and forgiveness. And feeling the pressure of success. 

Little kids can really throw all of that off (in the best way possible.) Being woke up a couple times every night for the past 7 years.  Gaining and losing and gaining baby (donut) weight again and again. Quitting chasing the idea of having a career that is my passion and becoming and learning the role and value of a stay at home mom. Fighting through anxiety and depression for years. The balance of wasting our days, being scheduled down to the minute, and being intentional and present. 

Perfection is overrated. 

I am ready to relax and let go of the guilt. 

So maybe today my kids play outside all day and the laundry goes untouched. Maybe we make a pallet on the floor and have a movie marathon. Maybe we get burgers for dinner. Or maybe we wake up early, get all our to-do's done and never touch a screen. 

Because I do have goals and I have plans. But they no longer get to dictate if I'm succeeding or failing at this gig. Only Jesus gets that much authority in my life from now on. 

Someday my Father will say, "Job well done, my good and faithful servant."