A few days ago I was asked, "Are you nervous?"
My response, "Of course!"
This journey is so new and unknown to us. How many kids will we foster? Are we going to have any more biological kids? How does it work? Will they all fit in your van? Do we have the space in our house for more kids? How long until you get a foster child?
We don't know. We don't know. We don't know.
But we do know the One who does know.
This journey is going to be all about letting go of having to know the answers and holding onto faith and trust in our God.
I got a call yesterday from our caseworker letting me know she is sending our packet with all our paperwork today. I'm so anxious and excited to check the mail now!
Then I look around our house and I start to get overwhelmed. There's so much to do and I don't even know what all we need to do.
I know we need to MAKE SPACE in the kids' room for an extra bed. And that means we need an extra bed. And where are we going to find this space? We are going to have to move their clothes out of their closet (and probably into our closet for now) and build shelves to hold all of their toys. Turning their room into a BEDroom. Yes, we will have 3 kids in one bedroom. And 2 in the other room.
We want to build a family closet and new laundry room area in the extra space we have in the garage. That would give me some extra room for a food pantry and a storage area for our homeschool stuff. Then giving me room for a big dining room table (which we need to be on the lookout for). We want to get a shed for our backyard (since we will be taking out the storage place in our garage. Our hope and big goal is to one day build an addition with another family(play) room and another bedroom and bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that we have a minivan that we aren't sure will hold 5 car seats. We will have to go car shopping. Or maybe bus shopping? :) We want to make space in our home just like we want to make space in our hearts.
I feel like this journey is like the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. One thing leads to another. How is this all going to work?!
I worry that we are putting a limit on what God can do and what we can do for him because we don't have big enough bedrooms to hold more or the extra money to do these things. But if I throw my doubt out of the window, I really believe that God is capable to do more than I know. He uses our limits and turns it into something great because He is limitless. I think he will smile because we are willing to take care of his children. I think He will open up the doors (and maybe build a few more in our house) to do even more than we thought was possible.
I love our house and it is a great house. I need to quit worrying about it's imperfections and let God use it in whatever way He sees fit. Just like he overlooks our imperfections and uses us for his work still. God doesn't ask us to be perfect. Just willing.
We have made room in our hearts for more children. And have dived into the foster care world. And I think God will also help us make room in our home for more children. Maybe that means knocking down a wall and trusting God to do more.
We are stepping out in faith. We want to do our part and we are believing God will get glory from that. That is our goal.
"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31