Last night I asked my husband to stop calling me beautiful.
What?! Who does that?
All day long my husband tells me I'm beautiful. That is the name he greets me with. Hi Beautiful. I love you, beautiful. Goodnight beautiful.
It embarrasses me. And I feel ashamed. Because I am not beautiful and I think all those around me must be laughing inside of their heads when they hear that name for me.
Oh how sad, to believe I'm not beautiful because of the extra fat on my body.
No, my body is not where I want it to be, but I need an eye, heart, and attitude adjustment.
Beauty is so much more than an outward appearance. It's a heart thing. Beauty really does come from the inside. Not just our jean size.
I would never think that someone else who has extra weight on them was not beautiful because of it. No way! I see other people's beauty. But I am not giving myself the same grace and love. We are our own worst critics. We must stop it.
I am beautiful. I need to believe that.
What kind of role model am I being for my 2 little girls?!
I never ever want for them to look in a mirror and have negative, hateful thoughts. So I can't want that for myself. I tell them that fat is not a nice word, and I don't allow them to say it and I never say it in front of them. But why is it ok for me to call myself fat in my head all day? It's not ok.
If I'm not satisfied with my waist size then I need to do something about it, not just hide, be unhappy and hateful to myself.
So Jonathan, I hope you always call me beautiful. When I don't see it, I want to see me through your eyes. I am thankful that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and that you believe me to be beautiful.
So please don't stop. Because if you say it enough - I might just start to believe you.
I'm thankful for my husband who also represents how God loves me and sees me.
So here I am... in all of my selfie glory. Needing a hair cut, having a fever blister and a zit, losing my tan, wearing no make up and a t-shirt and wanting to lose 40 pounds.
I. AM. BEAUTIFUL.
I hope you are able to really look at yourself today and confidently say - "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"