You know what I realized last night...
i. am. young.
I am still in my 20's. I'm young. I didn't realize that I was still young. Most days I feel old. (Probably thanks to my 3 kiddos that are turning me gray faster than I should be.) I feel that my husband and I are old souls.
I am ready for my 30's, only 4 more months.
No, maybe I am not ready for my 30's. I am going to enjoy this last little bit of being 20ish.
Because it's ok to be young.
I think I forget that I am young. My friends are all 10 years older than me and I like to think that my husband and I fit in pretty well. You know "more mature for our age" and all.
But I forget that it's ok to be young because I am young. To not have it all together, just yet (or ever). That I'm not expected to be in the same place of life as people older than me all the time. I forget that it's forgivable when I am careless or get it wrong, that I still have a lot of growing up and learning to do. Not that I think age should give us a freebie to do what we want or that older people can't mistakes because they can - and do. But I guess to know that I am on a journey of growing and maturing. That I need to be content with where I am and that I may not have all my ducks in a row. That I don't have it all together and that's ok.
I don't have it all together. I don't know all the answers. I get it wrong. I get it wrong a lot.
I like thinking that I am an old soul and more mature than I probably actually am. Because there are a lot of times that my actions still scream that I am still in my 20's. And I just realized that, that is ok. Because that is what I am.
So I want to ask for forgiveness when I don't get it just right. When I go left when I should've went right. When I don't say anything and I should've come to your rescue. When I say the wrong thing and should've kept quiet. Please allow margin for my faults - I have many.
God is made perfect in my weaknesses. I am not perfect. God is. I need to stop expecting myself (and others) to be perfect. I am not mature, but I am maturing.
Sometimes I just want to act my shoe size, not my age.