Jun 26, 2014

NMPM's The Perfection Infection

This post is continuing on discussing the book, No More Perfect Mom's by Jill Savage.

Chapter 1, The Perfection Infection.

This chapter put into words thoughts that I have been feeling for so long. I think I ran out of highlighter juice when I finished it! I want to just type word for word everything she said, but instead I think it would be better if I just give you some of my favorite points and quotes and the thoughts it provoked inside of me. This chapter sets up the rest of the book telling us what the Perfection Infection is!

Jill was given the advice, "Never compare your insides to someone else's outsides."

As moms we all play the comparison game. We have Facebook right at our fingertips to tell us how amazing other moms are and all the funny things their kids say. Why does my kid never say something like that? We have Pinterest that can make us feel like a failure because we have never made homemade chalk paint and because our houses don't look like the ones in a magazine. (BTW - I am not dogging on FB & Pinterest, I am a fan of both of them when used properly.)

We see the other moms at church with their picture perfect family, when we realize our youngest is still in pajamas and we're pretty sure everyone can smell our morning breath because really, who has time for themselves on Sunday mornings? But yet, we also compare to boost ourselves up, like when we are at the park and are being good, involved moms that are going down the slide with our kids and not sitting on the bench 20 feet away staring at our phone the whole time because we are a "good mom", when really we would love to have 5 minutes of phone time and not squeezing our booties down the slide for the 15th time.

Jill calls all of this wearing masks. "Comparing our messy insides - our struggles, our failures, our less-than-perfect lives - to other women's carefully cleaned-up, perfect looking outsides." Ladies, it's time to take off our masks!! It's time to get authentic! It's time to stop pretending, to stop holding people at arm's length. Throw that mask in the trash and be real. And let me tell you something - REAL IS MESSY! But I would rather be in messy with other women than be alone behind my mask. "Masks always make shallow what God has intended for deep. Friendships. Marriages. Families. Churches. Everything in our lives get cheated when we choose to be fake." Don't let that fake smile or the fear of being found out that you don't have it all together keep you from that deep relationship and conversation you really are longing for.

Wearing masks breed judgmental spirits instead of living in and loving through grace. Yes! Yes! I want to love through grace. I want to give others the benefit of the doubt and I want to live in grace! And you know what, I want others to treat me the same way. Why do we insist on judging other moms for being different or for 'failing'. I have bad days. I have days I don't feel like being a mom and where I use the iPads to be the baby-sitter. I have days where I am an emotional mess and I can't handle one more argument between my kids. I have days that I lose my temper and yell. Don't you have those days, too?

Ladies, this thing called motherhood is hard! I don't think we should expect to get through it alone. I know I don't want to! Pursuing being the perfect mom will set us up for failure from day one.

That's kind of the scary part about having a blog. It can't be all fluff. There is no restriction of 140 characters. There's not a like button. I can't fake it here without being found out. "Life is full of challenges, mundane responsibilities and difficult relationships." Life isn't one funny Facebook status update after another. It's not cooking the perfect meal everytime and posting the picture to Instagram and it's not lines in your carpet from the vaccuum right before a guest enters your home.

Life is messy and I want to invite you into my mess. You are not alone. I mess up. I grow impatient with my kids. I give my husband the silent treatment, I have piles of clothes waiting to be folded and put away - just yesterday I found a pair of my daughter's panties she had an accident in and had thrown in my basket of clean clothes - not sure how long that had been sitting in there. Yuck! & Yes, it stunk.

Sometimes life can get so lonely. When we think we are the only one dealing with something. Or we are sure every one else has Friday night plans and we are the only one stuck at home in our pajama pants again changing diapers and wiping up spills. Or when we are struggling and can't even pretend to keep it together. When we want to give up and quit. You are not alone. I am not alone.

Come back tomorrow to find the "antidote" to this Perfection Infection.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...