May 6, 2012
Yes... I mean No... Uh, let's say maybe
Well, I change my mind. I'm a woman so it's ok to do, right? :) I have decided to not do the HCG anymore. Why? A few reasons... I have been OBSESSED with my weight. Weighing myself 5 times a day, it's the first thing I think of when waking up, actually it is what gets me out of bed - gotta weigh in and the only thing I think about all day long - I've been so distracted. Am I losing weight? What does the scale say? Sure I tried on new clothes and smaller sizes fit me but I can't celebrate in that because I am not at the weight I want to be. I am not losing enough or fast enough. I can't go anywhere because I have to only eat certain things. I am missing out on MY life. Yes, it's only a temporary diet but I have decided it wasn't for me. It can work and it does work and it takes hard work to succeed at it and I don't have anything negative to say about the omni drops or those who take them! I just decided I could not do them anymore, at least at this time because of my obsession with my weight and my other goals. I want to put my focus on another one of my ultimate goals - cooking healthy meals for my family. I need help with this and it will take focus and work on my part. But it is a goal and I meet goals. :) I want to focus on my activity. I want to work my butt off, literally!!! :) I am doing the TurboFire 20 minute work out during the day and will go to the gym with my husband in the afternoons where we will do the Jungle Gym XT and where I will train for a half marathon! I love exercise! Yes, I know that sounds crazy but it's awesome, awesome! :) So I have to fuel my body to be able to put the effort into these things. Food is fuel. So yes I really do want the rest of this weight to fall off but I'm going to have to work it off in order to reach my other goals too! I am 13 pounds from my goal weight and about 1 to 2 sizes from my jean goal size. It is still a goal of mine that I will meet and I will work for to be the size I want to be. But the scale will not define me any longer!!! My relationship with Jesus Christ defines me. I am a wife and a mother that is who I am. And I am an athlete, so I must train like one. :) SCALE, you no longer consume me or my thoughts. You do not get to define who I am. I will celebrate my victories which I have worked hard for, which Jesus and my husband has helped me reach. I will enjoy my youth and my health. I will not take advantage of food but I will eat it to fuel my body. So here I am... 158.4 - I'm not sure how long it will take to reach my goal but thats ok because my goal is a life long event!!! A healthy lifestyle!