Oct 18, 2011

I look in the Mirror


Most people surround themselves by others who stretch them to do better and challenge them to set their standards higher - aka people they look up to and think are beautiful and talented.
I on the other hand am easily intimidated around such people. I lose my self-worth and confidence. I look at their skills and praise and encourage them. I believe in them. But yet I look at myself and say see why does anyone need you around? You can't do it. What are you even good at?! You might as well not even try.
I have ALWAYS seeked approval and affirmation. I never think my good is good enough. Even though people encourage or compliment me I do not believe them or accept it as truth. I let others opinions determine how I feel about myself. I worry what others think. And their silence is what hurts the worst.
I struggle with this SO much in photography. I am not good enough. The fear of our clients' judgement of their pictures scares me to death. It is my creation, it's a part of me - it's my artwork. In result, I don't even like to try.
I look in the mirror and I take responsibility for this. It is something I am working on. It's something that I need help from God with. He is the one that holds my worth. He believes in me. I have to choose to believe the words He has to say about his children.
As a mother I know what I would tell my girls and would never ever say. And what is crazy is how I treat myself. The rude and hurtful things I tell myself. I would never tell anyone. No wonder I have no confidence - I. AM. MEAN. One thing I love to do is encourage others! Well, maybe it's time to encourage myself. Hey KC... You're a-okay. lol well it's a start. :)

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for being so real. I think we ladies struggle with this a - LOT!

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  2. Great post! I stuggle with the same things, it's hard to overcome.

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  3. i totally feel you on this one, KC! thank you so much for sharing. and by the way--your photography rocks..majorly! i love you, friend!!

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