I Show Up

Here I am. I showed up to write again. My second step in obeying God. He wants me to write. I'm not sure why. But isn't it time I stop questioning the "why" of God and stop trying to understand what he's up to. My small, little brain can not even begin to fathom what He is up to. 

I ran. I hid. And now I show up. 

I don't have a detailed plan (which is so unlike me.) My plan is to show up today. And then again in my new today. And in the next. I am just going to keep showing up and let God's Spirit guide and direct me - and most importantly change me. I am such a planner - a perfect plan has to be in place before I even move an inch. I surrender. 

Renew my mind each morning.

"Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Romans 12:2

This my prayer. That God would renew my mind. 

God is the one who transforms me into a new person, but I need to change the way I think and what I think about. I have been struggling with anxiety and smaller doses of depression. And I want to become a new person. I ask, beg God to transform me. This past week He is showing me to change the way I think. To fix my eyes on the truth (Philippians 4:8) and the good things - not on fear and those things that cause me anxiety. I get so caught up on what's going wrong, what is stressful, and the negative things. Of course I can't have a peaceful mind when I think about those things! 

We focus on what we stare at. So I am shifting my eyes. My gaze will be on what is above! "Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth." Colossians 3:2 

One way to change my thinking to the positive things and away from fear and anxiety is to focus on what I am grateful for. The bright side if you will!

This morning I am thankful that I get to be home with my 4 kids as I sit here and watch the rain pour down as the cool Fall breeze blows in through my open windows. I am writing and reading my Bible as they watch a movie about puppies. (It wasn't long ago I was barely able to get out of bed.)

I am thankful that I am going to see my family this weekend. (Instead of focusing on the stress of cleaning the house, packing, and doing all of the laundry.) God has done some big things in my family's life this year! There has been reconciliation, healing, growth and more. All praise to Him. 

I am writing. Obeying God. (Instead of focusing on my self-doubt and all of the worries that come with opening yourself up for all to see.) And it feels good to obey God - in a scary, freeing way. 

I am putting on my NEW nature, and I will be RENEWED as I learn to know my Creator and be like him. (Colossians 3:10) 

As I show up, God shows up, too!