This week my big girls have gone to their Mimi and Pop's house to go to VBS at my parent's church, play with their cousins, and swim. They talk about this week all year long; this is their 3rd year doing it. What special memories and strong relationships they are creating!
This means Jonathan and I are spending a week with just the boys. We are having so much fun focusing on them and giving them all of our attention. My boys are something special. They are happy, joyful, ornery, and have big personalities.
People make this comment to me often, "4 kids! I don't know how you do it." I've always thought that was kind of a strange comment. I mother 4 kids just like you mother your 1, 2, or 3 kids. Four is just what I'm used to; it's my normal. Honestly, I didn't think there was very much difference from 2 to 4 anyways. This week I'm seeing that that is not true.
4 is definitely more than 2.
Obviously I wouldn't change it for the world, but having four children does take more attention and more energy than having two. My girls are 7 and 5 and they require a lot of mental energy from me. My boys who are 2 years old and 10 months old take all the physical attention and energy from me. So when you combine those it can equal exhaustion quickly. But 4 is my number, and it's what I want to do well.
Last night I was praying and I asked God for a higher stress tolerance. Not less stress, because again 4 kids. But I knew I didn't want to be a stressed out mom anymore. I am not that friendly when I am stressed. Yikes! Watch out kids.
10 minutes after writing out my prayer, I opened up the book I am currently reading Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and started reading where I had left off. And this is what she had written, "...When I'm not taking care of my body, I feel much more weighed down by my stress and problems. I have less energy to serve God and more thorny emotions to wade through when processing life."
This was such an answer to prayer. I'm one who prays and then starts thinking and searching for solutions on my own. But yet God put this right in front of me for me.
If I want to parent 4 kids well, (which I do!) I must take care of my body. I must watch what I eat and exercise!!! I need to do this to honor God with my body, to be a good role model on how to live a healthy life, and to have the energy to keep up with my 4 little ones.
Because really, 4 kids take a lot of attention and energy. I am exhausted most of the time. But God gave me my answer to parent my 4 kids well, to gain more energy, and to have a higher stress level tolerance.
Hear me though, I don't think the number on the scale determines if you're a good mother or not. I don't think if your pant size is in a single digit that it automatically means you don't have any stress in your life. It's not about that. You may be overweight, yet super healthy and with tons of energy. You may be in a healthy weight range, but drained and exhausted. LOVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT SIZE. Your kids love you no matter if you're a size 2, 12, or 22. One of the best things you can do for your children is to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
But God gave ME "take care of your body" as an answer to my prayer. He might give a different answer to you. Ask him and let him guide you.
So it's time for me to make some changes. I've tried and fallen down so many times, but I'm getting up again because I'm not giving up. It's a struggle and a battle. But one that is worth fighting.
I am worth it. My children are worth it. My husband is worth it. My relationship with God is worth it.
This is more than getting into some skinny jeans. This is more than being able to shop at any clothes store I want. This is more. I am made for more.
This is a spiritual battle. This is me putting up a fight for my family. This is for energy. This is for me. This is for me to quit being stressed all the time and have the ability and energy to work through my emotions in a healthy way. This is for my relationship with God.
There are going to be ups and downs. I'm going to fall down. But I can't quit.
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