Aug 13, 2015

No Ending or Beginning

There's no ending or beginning in a day for a mom. You don't get to clock in and then clock out for the day. It truly is 24/7.

I have a 1 month old son. He's a pretty good sleeper for a new guy. But he's also unpredictable. Is he going to wake up at midnight, 3 and 6? Or is he going to sleep until 4 and 7:30? (I've never tried to put my babies on a schedule, but am tempted to look into it. Maybe with 4 it's necessary. How do I do that? I want more of a routine - a flexible schedule.)

I've found that my days as a mother where I am woke up by one of my children and needed right off the bat make for a long day. I feel I spend the whole day trying to get a minute to myself - which usually doesn't come. If you're a mom than you understand that you don't even know the last time you went to the bathroom by yourself. And when the first thing in the morning is a little one crying or someone asking for something it makes for a long day.

I decided last night that I would wake up before all my kids in the morning so I could start my day off as being KC for a few minutes. If that was just to take a shower alone or drink some coffee as I read my Bible. I really think starting my day before the kids gives me a peace where I'm not trying to play catch up all day and helps me to be a better mom for my kids.

Well, like I said my little baby is unpredictable right now. So I really don't know what time I would need to wake up to start my day. Apparently before 5:56. I woke up to crying and got a bottle ready and fed my guy. I thought he had fallen back to sleep around 6:30 and put him back into bed and got in the shower. Ok this would work too, because I have about an hour before my other son wakes up. Nope, crying during my shower. My wonderful husband got him to try to rock him back to sleep.



But here I sit at 6:45 rocking my little guy. No I'm not complaining and I'm thankful for him. But I also am struggling and failing as I try to meet the needs of my husband, kids and myself. Honestly, it's exhausting to be needed by so many people. I love each one of them, but I'm adjusting. I know eventually I'll figure this thing out. My newborn will grow all too quickly and become more and more independent.

I know this is a season. And there's a season for everything. However, this season is filled with little sleep and no alone time.

I know I need to seek the Lord to fill me up and to truly be the One to meet my needs so I can pour out to those around me. I just feel like I'm running on empty and struggling to find the time to stop for a minute to refuel.
 

Any tips of how you do it or suggestions of getting my baby on a routine/schedule are welcomed! And of course, I would love any prayers. I want to be the wife and mother my family needs and deserves. And I know I need a whole lot of Jesus to even come close.

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