Well, I feel a little bit like I'm on repeat here, but oh well. If at first you don't succeed try, try again right?
I am 3 weeks postpartum and have been enjoying my little newborn! This was baby #4 and I am older now than with baby #1. I say that to say my body has changed. And I'm ready - well I want to be ready - to make some better changes to it. However, this time it's not going to be about the size of my pants or what the scale says. I want to be healthy. This last pregnancy was hard on me. I was soooooo tired all the time. I needed help to even get off the couch. I had no energy to serve my family or to even just give them a little attention. To put it bluntly, it sucked. And I don't want to live like that anymore.
Luckily, with this pregnancy I only gained 25 pounds and the even luckier part is it all fell off - I am back to where I started last November. Yay! But the weight loss has stopped and if I don't make a change quickly it's going back up. Energy slowly came back after birth - delivering a 10 pound baby helps with all of that, but as I still eat my sugar only diet I'm noticing that I'm feeling sluggish again. And I'm ready to put my foot down and say, "No!"
I love sugar. Seriously. Sugar addict. I had a cinnamon roll for breakfast & a snack yesterday. I had a coke icee for a mid morning treat and ice cream for dinner. Oh and Taco Bell for lunch. Winning diet right there!
So today after breakfast (another cinnamon roll) I started thinking and asking myself - what am I doing to myself?! And why??
I need energy to take care of my 4 children under the age of 6. To be honest it takes a whole new level of energy just to care of my 17 month old son. Whew. I want energy to love my husband. I need energy to serve my family and to take care of my home.
I want to thrive, not just survive.
My 6 year old wants me to be healthy. She wants me to exercise. She wants me to be skinnier. She wants me to have energy. She wants me to be able to play. She doesn't want her mom to be a bum on the couch.
And I want all that too. I want that for her. I want that so I can be a good role model to her. She knows she's skinny, but I want more for her than that. I want to teach her about healthy. She's my little sugar addicted mini me. I want her to know how to make healthy choices and how sugary things should be a rare treat not a daily go to. I don't want her to have a lifetime of yo yo dieting and hating her body. But I can't teach her all of that unless I'm willing to lead by example.
Now you may be scratching your head and wondering well if all the weight just fell off why do I need to lose weight? Well, remember that little 17 month old I mentioned that requires a crazy amount of energy? Well, yes I lost the 25 pounds I gained from my #4, but what I didn't mention is that I'm still holding onto 50 out of 60 pounds from #3.
I don't know yet what my plan is to lose these 50 pounds. I know it will consist of healthy foods, exercise and water. Slow and steady. Consistent. My goal is: Life long lifestyle changes.
It's not about the scale, and I do not want to become obsessed with the scale. I say I want to lose 50 pounds because I know that was a weight I was healthy at before and had energy. And I'll use the scale because I know pounds are a good way to measure how you're doing with your choices. I will also take pictures - ugh. I know measuring is a good thing to do, I'll have to measure a couple areas as a starting point number.
I don't want to chase skinny. I want a lifestyle of health.
I need to start. I want to (want to) start. I'm going to have to just do it.
This is from last week / 2 weeks post partem. (See I've already put off starting by a week and posting this blog and pictures! But today I stepped on the scale and was up 2 pounds from a week ago. Wrong direction!)