Do you ever wonder where you would be if you would've made different choices growing up? Do you have regrets? Or do you say I don't have regrets because they led me to exactly where I am today?
My past is covered with ugly sin. (But isn't all sin ugly?!) And I do have many regrets.
I regret being hateful and mean in high school to so many people. I regret letting my insecurities play such a big part of my life (something I still need to work on.) I regret not being nicer to my mom during my teenage years. I regret some of the, no a lot of the sinful decisions I made.
But none of those matter anymore. I can't regret the path that I took. My decisions didn't lead me to where I am today. But God did!!! God used every bad decision to help me take my next step.
I am forgiven. And God had his hand on my life the whole time. He guided me through the darkness until I was living in the light.
He brought Jonathan and I together. I truly believe that. Jonathan taught me about unconditional love and forgiveness. That I was worthy of both of those and that I could receive those gifts from my Heavenly Father. Which I did! And well Jonathan learned that God's people are messy and need grace.
Sin is ugly and it separates us from God. I don't believe we should live in sin, but yet we should try to live like Jesus. I mess up a lot. A LOT. But I don't live with regrets and I wake up daily trying to be intentional.
My goal in life is to love God and love others!!!!
So I wonder where?
Where would I be without God? Lost lost lost. I hate to even think about that.
Where would I be without Jonathan? Lost. Alone. He really is God's best for me. He encourages me daily to live out my goal, our commandment - to love God and love others. I love our beautiful family and all the children we have been blessed with. I love doing life with these people.
Where would I be...
Luckily right where I am. And I look forward to the direction God has me pointed in!