You know how we hang on to our "skinny clothes" for 10 years because someday, yes someday we will fit into them again. That pair of jeans that we haven't worn since pre-baby. But we will get there again so we hang onto them. (I have a whole tub full of my size mediums!) And then as soon as we lose some weight we toss out our "fat pants" because we are never going there again?
Well, I went there again. And now I am big and without a wardrobe. But I don't want to buy fat clothes. I've been telling myself for the past 7 months that I'm going to lose this baby weight so I don't need to. Hence, why I have lived in my yoga capri pants everyday.
But I bit the bullet the other day and I bought new jeans. I hate them. They are huge.
I am in between sizes and had just bought the lower of the 2 sizes a couple weeks ago, but haven't worn them because they are too tight and uncomfortable. You know, I bought them because I just needed to lose 5 pounds to fit into them and I was going to do that... Well, now since 2 weeks past and I think I have gained 5 pounds instead of lose it, I bought the larger size and have worn them. But I hate them. They are frumpy and I need to wear them with a belt, which I don't have. I try to stick them in the drier to tighten them up, but it only helps for 5 minutes. And they're not even cute. I just reluctantly found the size and bought them.
So yes, while I have the desire to be able to dress cute and not like a complete slob anymore, my body isn't letting me. I'm just not one of those plus size gals that have the cute clothes and look cute wearing them. I'm slightly jealous of you ladies! I need someone to take me shopping. Because my motto is grab the one at the back of the rack and just buy it even if it isn't cute. Because it fits and I should be satisfied with that.
I desire to be a cute hip momma and wifey. And no, I don't think you have to be a size 0, shoot not even a size 10 to be able to do that. I just want to be someone who loves the inside and outside of myself. I don't care what size that ends up being, I'm just not there right now.
I want to have the cute boots, leggings, scarf and cardigan this fall. I want to wear a cute hoodie with converse and skinny jeans. I like clothes, just none of mine. I like shopping, just not right now.
I am excited to lose some weight and go shopping for clothes that I actually like, and not just get ones just because they have the XL or whatever.
So I guess, it's time to get started.