Who says distance makes the heart grow fonder?!
I've been away from my husband for a whole week now and I don't think I can handle another moment away. You can call me needy and you would be right, I do need my husband. I feel distant: emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
I'm on my way home now and I can't wait. My husband and I have a good marriage. But we learned the hard way that it's not perfect but it's good, really good. It's my favorite.
But just like in any relationship, if it's not nourished; it can not flourish. You have to spend time together, talk to one another, and pursue the other.
My heart was feeling anxious and upset. And I was trying to pray through it, but I felt the need for someone to pray for me and my marriage. But the only person I wanted praying for me was my best friend - my husband. This required me to be open and honest with him about my feelings. Admitting a heart that wasn't feeling connected and not having the spark of being in love. That's not a fun thing to have to admit to your spouse. But I needed my best friend to pray for me. A marriage is not only physical. It's emotional. And even more importantly, spiritual. And I was feeling out of balance in all these areas. I sent him a text letting him know that I needed prayer from my best friend and he was able to tell me of his feelings of distance as well. We are usually in sync, even when that means negatively. And this time was no different.
I'm so thankful love is more than just a feeling. Because if you're a woman then you know how all over the place our feelings can be.
My marriage is the most important relationship in my life, second only to my personal relationship with my Lord.
I am committed to my husband forever. On the days I am giddy with butterflies. And I'm committed on the days when I feel like I am living with only a roommate.
And part of the vow I made to him 7 years ago was that I would always "water my own grass". When I am feeling blah blah blah whatever: I committed to talk about it, spend time together, pray for him, and get naked.
I am actually thankful for the times like these bc it's a time we focus on our marriage and give and get the attention we desire. We talk about anything we feel has been off or lacking. And it always results in a stronger marriage. Because our marriage is alive and we will not let it die - it can't stay the same. Tough times are not fun. But if you commit to work through them then you will find strength on the other side.
I am home now. And everything is right in the world. We had an evening together as a family and I am where I belong. At home with the ones I love and in my hubby's arms. There is a peace here that we both were seeking. And found it now that we are together again.
I had a really fun week with my kids and family, making memories, building relationships, and having fun. But it was obvious one thing was lacking - my babe was not with me. It doesn't matter where I am, if I'm not with my man than I'm probably not having as much fun as I could be.
Jonathan, you are my best friend, my other half, my lover, and my forever. I'll love you everyday and you are stuck with me forever. In the good times and the hard times. I'm glad you like being needed, because I'll always be needy for you! xoxo
Goodnight. Tonight I'll be in my man's arms... My favorite spot to be.