Feb 28, 2013

Mommy Confession

I've never been one that needs a lot of "me" time. But I am starting to see the importance of it. Not just "me time" but whatever other hats I wear, aka my other roles. I am a wife, a mother, a Christ follower, and a friend. Most of my time is spent being mother, as I am a stay at home mom. Being a mom to two young children is a lot of work. They depend on me to meet almost all of their needs: wiping their butts, constant snot control, feeding, dressing, and cleaning them. Now don't get me wrong, there is no where else I would rather be. I have really found where I belong being a stay at home mom. It is my passion and ministry.

However, the past couple weeks the Holy Spirit has started convicting me. I have not handled stress and being at home all the time in a Christ-like way. I have become short-tempered and impatient. I am a yeller. I started to notice it in Kairi and would tell her to quit yelling and watch her attitude. She would get frustrated really easily. After a few days of noticing this, I began to realize.... she is acting exactly like I do. Wow, how humbling. To see your flaws come out in your child is a tough thing. How could I be trying to "fix" her when I am the one that was broken?

Being a mom is stressful and other moms I know can relate that we don't even get to use the restroom without little eyes watching us, even clapping for us telling us good job mommy! I especially notice myself being short tempered when I am "busy" doing something else. Just like at this very moment as I blog, my 2 year old is playing music on her ipod very loudly and blowing a whistle as my 4 year old comes into the room crying because her sister hit her in the head! And now she is snuggled up to me asking 1000 questions about what I am doing.

I would not be happy about the distraction that the girls needed me while I was "busy". Sadly, I have to confess there were many times I would ignore them or yell at them because I was busy checking my newsfeed on Facebook. Oh my!! Reallly?! Yes...

I was so busy with my iPhone that I would be impatient and snap at the girls for bothering me.

 

Another time I was a big yeller is when we were running behind, which is always. Usually because of my "busyness" of doing something so important that I waited until it was time to go and we weren't ready. I would yell at the girls to get ready and to hurry up. To get their attention and rush them along. I blamed it on bad time management, but I think I lose sight of what is important and have wasted way too much time on social networks. Anyone who was my friend on Facebook could tell you how much I updated my wall and I knew everything that was going on.

 

It wasn't until a few days ago that I realized I needed to start praying. I need to pray for gentleness and patience! The Fruits of the Spirit!!! (Galatians 5:22-23)

 

I am happy to report that the last 2 days I have been very conscience of my yelling. I am asking God for forgiveness and to change me. One thing I was convicted to do was to deactivate my Facebook. To change we don't just pray, we DO. So getting off of Facebook was an action and to change we have to take action and not just pray. I now only have a page to be able to have a place to share my blog posts! You can LIKE my page "My Doodle Spot".

I am not saying do not discipline your children and make them listen. However, I am finding that yelling at them is not doing anything more then crushing their spirits and teaching them how to control frustration in a not very nice way.

I am wanting to have a kind, gentle Spirit. One that is pleasing to God.

 

 

I am also seeing the importance of putting on my other hats. Spending more time as a Christ follower. It's amazing how much more time I have now that I'm not on Facebook. I have time to spend time in the Word and to read books. I have time to pray and to pray for others. I am learning the tools I need to be more Christ-like.

Another hat I am excited to wear more often is my wife hat. My husband and I have been listening to podcasts from Pastor Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church together. We are spending time reading the Bible together. We are praying for eachother and with eachother. We are asking how to be better friends to one another and enjoying alone time. We are off of our iGadgets and having some quality and quantity face to face time.

One other hat I am excited to wear more often is being a friend! Last weekend at the marriage retreat we had a great time getting to spend time together with other couples. I am excited to watch these friendships continue and to do more fun things together! Also, I just got involved in a new Bible Study group, where 5 of us ladies meet together once a week. We are studying a book, but also being friends to each other and doing life together. God has brought some amazing people into our lives this past year, that I can happily call friends. The friend hat is a hat I am very excited to wear.

I will also gladly wear my mommy hat! I want to be more intentional again. It's easy to get lazy. I love, love, love being at home with my girls and enjoy all the fun stuff we do together. I am excited to have a better attitude and find JOY again in being a mommy. I want to encourage my children. I want to raise good, Godly kids that love The Lord and love others.

 

Life brings all sorts of stresses. If you work there's stress there. If you are a mom, there is stress there. If you are a wife, there are stresses there. If you are alive. There is stress!

I am gladly turning my stresses over to God to help me deal with them and am thankful for Him taking my burden away. Something that I have learned this week is that everything leads to the cross! I am a sinner. I am flawed. Christ died for me. He died for my sins and so that I may have a new life in Him. I can throw off my old self and put on my new self. I will be clothing myself with the fruits of the spirits!

 

Plus anytime I want to yell I can yell at our crazy puppy who likes to take the girls' toys outside and chew them up!

 

 

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