Jan 16, 2013


So the last 4 weeks have been anything but normal or routine. 4 weeks ago today we lost our baby. I was 9 weeks pregnant when we found out that our baby had went to be with Jesus, our angel baby. The next week was Christmas which everyone knows what craziness the holiday season brings, including traveling and visiting family and friends and then coming back home and another week of out of routine with the New Year holiday and things being closed and cancelled. I felt like I hadn't seen anyone or done anything routine in weeks.

Then I said these words, "time for things to get back to normal." Why did I say that?! No I'm not superstitious I'm only teasing, but the very next day Kairi came down with the flu and Brayce had the same symptoms the following day and we once again didn't do anything routine even more we didn't leave the house other then a trip to the doctor for Kai. I did not want to share the girls' germs with any friends! I spent the week trying to keep fevers below 103 and giving the girls "ucky" medicine.

Sunday night we were concerned that Brayce wasn't improving and luckily one of her wonderful doctors said he would take a look and found that Brayce had a bilateral ear infection and a slight sore throat. Poor baby girl, we had no clue. So new medicine was called in and again today we stayed home from activities to try to keep grumpy gus Brayce comfortable and feeling ok.

So tomorrow starts normal... I think. LOL. I know, I said someone slap me if I ever said that again. I'm kind of scared to start new normal. I've gotten so comfortable becoming that hermit, homebody again. The one that stays in her pj's all day long and doesn't communicate with the outside world. People have asked me if I have cabin fever or am going crazy, but honestly, I'm not. I love being at home with my girls and love it even more when my husband is home. And these past 4 weeks have been out of whack for him and his job, too. He has been by my side when I needed him, traveled to visit my family for Christmas, and has been so helpful taking care of the girls. I think this is the first week "back to normal" is happening for him, too. Maybe that's why he's been falling asleep at 10:30 - however he is forgetting what day it is! :)

But I have missed my friends and our activities. I got a text today asking if Kairi was still in gymnastics it's been so long. I think it's been just over a month since we've been to Wednesday night church. And we even had to miss Sunday church this past week. I promise friends and family - we are alive and here!

So while I am nervous for some unknown reason to get back to "life", I am excited. Sometimes you just have to take action and quit waiting for normal, or routine, or whatever it is you are waiting for to start. Sometimes you have to just start living or else your life will pass you by and you will wonder what happened! You will miss out on so much. So tomorrow I plan to actually fix my hair, get dressed up - aka put on some yoga pants lol, and start living my life. Even if it isn't the "normal" that was normal 4 weeks ago. It is my life. Sick kids, holiday schedules, activities, and whatever else comes my way. I am ready for you. However, please don't start before 8am.

I am praying that little Miss Braycee wakes up feeling well. I sure have missed that ornery little smile of hers. I know how much pain ear infections are too. I would love to protect my kids from all of harm but we can't. So I just have to trust in God and pray and do my best to shower them with hugs, kisses, and love!



If this post makes no sense please forgive me. It's past 2am and I should be sleeping. I'm a night owl though, what can I say?! Why do you think I don't want my day to start before 8? I need that 6 hours of sleep!


And here's just a couple pictures, because what's a blog post without pictures?

This is Fruit Loop. This is the first night she is sleeping in the house instead of her kennel, cage thing - hoping this goes well. She thinks her spot is on the pillow right next to me in bed. Hmmm.. I don't think so. She did get a bath today so at least she doesn't stink.
Kairi wanted some one on one time with her Papa today. He's the best Papa around and even rearranged his schedule since she called to ask if she could come over! They had fun jumping on the bed, getting a new Barbie at Wal-Mart, eating Taco Bell, and popcorn & m&m's.

She's crazy but she's all mine!


I read something that encouraged me on a blog tonight: "God has not promised a life of happiness - He knew we would have sorrow - but He has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Have HOPE in that!"


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