I recently decided it was time for some things to change.
I decided to make running a part of my every day life. I had forgotten what it felt like to run for fun, no pressure & not for any purpose other than to enjoy. I decided I would run 30 minutes everyday for 30 days to build this healthy habit into my daily life.
The weather has been amazing. I LOVE Fall weather. The sun has been shining and it's cool enough for long sleeves. The first day of my 30 day challenge, I changed my playlist to Jeremy Camp. You know how music can bring back memories. Well, Fall + Jeremy Camp always takes me back to my first semester at Bible college. The year I fell in love with God and met my husband. I would find a favorite spot on the front lawn or would walk around campus with my headphones in listening to Jeremy Camp (specifically the song Trust In You) and I remember the Fall weather and sunshine. It reminds me of JOY, faith, hope, and love.
Well, I ran and walked for almost an hour that day. Just enjoying and thinking about so many different aspects in my life. I thought about my faith, my family, and myself.
Last week, my husband and I decided to cut out a lot of the junk we were eating and focus on fruits and veggies for a few days. Today was our 3rd day. This has helped us to try new veggies that I will be adding to my daily meals and anytime I make restrictions I am able to focus on moderation again. I get extreme with my fast food and desserts all too quickly. I have found that a couple days of restrictions allows me to get back on track.
A couple days ago, I was having a conversation with my BIL & SIL and one topic was weight loss. The past few months they lost the excess weight that they wanted to and were able to quickly. They learned what they needed to change to live healthy and be the size they want to be. A couple things they said really stuck out to me. Amanda mentioned that she got tired of counting calories and focusing on weight loss and she only did it 3 months; she said she couldn't imagine doing it for as long as I have been. This really stuck out to me and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Which is a good thing.
What am I waiting for? I feel like I have been dieting my whole life. Aren't I ready to be done? I am ready to "maintain" and to live a healthy lifestyle. Not having to think about each bite that enters my mouth and feel guilty about eating something that isn't on my current diet. Constantly making rules and trying different diets. I just want to live. So therefore, I need to LEARN. Which is what my BIL, Pip was talking about. Pip lost 35 pounds in 3 months. I asked if they were still counting calories and he said he wasn't. He said he had learned and put into practice moderation and portion control - one of the main sources of his gaining weight was overeating. I started thinking about what he said. I have been trying to lose weight consistently for 3 years, but really I've been trying to ever since I was 17. When am I going to LEARN?! Losing pounds means nothing and will not last if I don't learn what I am doing and what I need to change and then put it into practice.
I am tired of being on this journey. I have 10 more pounds before I am at a healthy and comfortable weight. I am ready to begin my new journey. Yes, I will probably always have to be conscience of what I am doing, and make sure I am staying on track. But I am ready to put away the scale and the myfitnesspal app and just make healthy choices. I need to really look at me weaknesses with food and the source of not getting this weight off & for putting it on.
So from that conversation, I am really trying to focus on FINISHING and LEARNING. And I feel ready.
Tonight I went to the grocery store by myself. I usually enjoy grocery shopping with my husband and kids, but tonight I went at bedtime. It worked out perfectly. I focused on making healthy choices, and got a lot of great stuff, including a lot of new veggies to try. After I got home and we had put away the groceries, I made a list of all the different meals I could make with the food that I just had bought. I know that's kind of backwards... most people make a list of the meals and then shop for those! That's ok I think this is going to work out! :) I am actually excited to cook - maybe because basically all I have had for the past 3 days is veggies & fruits!
Anyways, sorry for all the ramblings. I just thought putting all of this into words would help me. Because I am trying to focus on not focusing on weight loss! Confusing, right?!