Sep 16, 2012

My Heart Breaks for You


Today my heart breaks for the people trying to conceive, whether it be for their first child or fifth and not getting that + sign on the pee stick... Month after month their period comes confirming failure.
Having to learn patience. Having to experience heart break. Having to learn to trust in God's perfect timing.
Worry and fear will quickly consume them. The what if's will start to play in their heads. They will start to ask questions: What if I can't get pregnant? What am I doing wrong? Why is it taking so long? Why not now? What if I never get to have a baby?
My heart breaks for you... And I wish I could say something that would comfort your hearts or be there for you to wrap my arms around you to give you a bear hug.

How does this relate to me? I have two kids. My pregnancies were planned and I got pregnant the first time trying with both girls. In fact with my 2nd, we decided ok let's do this and the next day we thought oh we might want to wait a couple more months and we both looked at each other and was like ya, we are already pregnant. 

Sure enough one week later I took a test and there were those 2 little lines. Shock was my first reaction and then pure excitement.
So how can I possibly understand the heart break so many women have to go through. I can't. I can not know the depth of your hurt and pain. But I hope to be able to sympathize and somehow offer comfort and encouragement to you. I don't know how, but maybe just by recognizing this pain and how it is a real thing or bringing awareness can some how comfort you even for only a second.

Someone that I know was trying to conceive a few years ago but wasn't having "success"... for almost a year. I remember saying to her, teasing her, "You have to have sex to get pregnant." Oh my gosh!! How could've I been so stupid and hurtful. I am so sorry, not just for what I have said but for anything someone has said that has hurt you and caused you tears and a wound. I am sorry.

I encourage everyone to always think before you say something. People get so opinionated when it comes to pregnancies and having babies. It's like advice flocks to to pregnant mommas - even when it wasn't asked for. Think before you speak. Could it be hurtful? Is it necessary? Did they ask for your advice? Are you all knowing? If they aren't harming their children (and not just in our opinion but seriously injuring) then its none of our business. No mother is going to intentionally hurt their children. Let them be the best mother they can be. They can choose what they think is best for them and you get to choose what you think is best for your kid. Why should we PUSH our opinions and beliefs on someone else?
Sorry end rant. :)

What I am trying to say is LOVE EACH OTHER.
Yes, there is going to be children running around Wal-Mart without shoes on, but why should we judge them? As a child didn't you run through your neighborhood barefoot, fighting your mother to have to put on shoes. So what the kid's feet are black and maybe it's not the most sanitary place (we know that because come on it's Wal-Mart), but I bet that mother is doing the best she can. Just because her child has no shoes on or some dirt on it's face, this does not mean she doesn't love her child. It means that kid is a kid or maybe she can't afford play shoes. Let us love each other. Not judge.

When we don't know what we should say, then maybe we say nothing at all, but pray for them. We pray for the hurt, the broken, the lost. If you are a mother you should pray for other mothers. We know the challenges being a mom brings; wouldn't it give you a little more confidence to know that people are praying for you?

I have been in Wal-Mart when my kids have thrown themselves down crying, throwing a fit. And what did I do - I worried that everyone in the store was judging me & what kind of mother I was. Instead of those negative thoughts, wouldn't it be amazing to feel the power of God. Knowing people understand and have been there. And are praying for my children and me to have wisdom to be able to handle this situation in a Godly way. To love my children in a difficult circumstance.

I want to pray for my family, my friends, and strangers. I want to pray for mothers. I want to pray that these mothers can have the strength it takes to be a mother and to raise God-loving children that will always have a heart for God. God doesn't want us to raise "good" children; He wants us to love them and teach them who LOVE is.

Stop now and pray for your mother, your sisters, your aunts, your friends, your kids' teachers, the mothers in your church, the mothers that you don't even know their name. Pray for those who are trying to conceive - if it takes 2 months or 2 years there is pain and hurt and they need prayer. Pray for those who were told they will never be able to become pregnant. Pray for those who have lost a baby. Pray for foster moms and moms that have chosen to adopt.

I do not and can not understand your pain, but know that I am praying for you.

Let us not just pray, but to act... to LOVE.

1 comment:

  1. Geez, make me cry. :) thanks for being thoughtful. As someone who's gone though that, the prayer is appreciated!
    -caryn

    ReplyDelete

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