Jun 20, 2012

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

30 things: What are 3 legitimate fears you have? What is fear? A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain etc, whether the threat is real or imagined. Being afraid. Well, I fear you may read my fears and think I'm a little crazy and probably rightfully so. But here is my list of my top 3 fears in order.  1. Wasps - spheksophobia I am terrified of wasps. I freeze w terror when I see one. Or I scream and run while flailing my arms (often hitting myself in the head on accident, hurting more then a sting probably would.) I have never even been stung by a wasp but I am terrified of them.  When I was a kid our pool was next to our fence where my mom had planted these vines that wasps loved. When laying out if one would fly by the pool I'd jump off the float and hold my breath underwater as long as I could praying that the thing would fly away. Also my chore was to take the trash to the dumpster which so happened to be by these vines as well. I remember rounding the corner making as wide of a turn I could, pausing running to lift the lid and running all the way back inside letting the lid slam shut.  I have almost had several accidents bc a wasp was inside my car while I was driving. I am seriously terrified and the buzzing sound alone is enough to make my heart race. I don't enjoy the outdoors bc of my fear of wasps.  Why is this a fear?? I have no idea! Like I said I've never even been stung but they are so creepy crawly/flying buzzing insects that make me scream. I've only been afraid of wasps for 22+ years without improvement.  2. Traffic - When I was 20 I was in 3 wrecks in 1 month and a week after the 3rd accident after my car had been totaled and I was in a rental car I  was driving on an interstate when people just stopped all of a sudden without reason or warning almost causing a huge multicar pile up. That moment did something inside of me that I can still recall vividly, causing a panic attack and fear for traffic.  For a long time I really let this fear control my life. I would not (and still won't) ride in a car with someone else driving (now other than my husband, in-laws & parents). Many times I have turned down doing something fun bc I couldn't ride with someone else or drive. Now I think I would choose to drive & not miss out on the fun, but I don't know if I'm ready to be a passenger yet.  In traffic, I fear people are just going to stop so I require 10 car lengths in between the car in front of me and always am on the lookout for brake lights.  Luckily unlike the wasps my fear of traffic has improved quite a bit! I don't get as anxious and nervous when riding thru traffic. I don't have to close my eyes the whole time anymore. And last month I even drove 4 hours to visit my family by myself! I hadn't driven outside of Grove in 6 years.  So I know that all sounds weird and doesn't make sense to most people. And i know it's hard to understand. Even my husband made fun of me for quite awhile about it until he made me drive through Kansas City during rush hour. Then he understood I wasn't kidding. But it is a real fear and I one I have to deal with almost daily. But I thank the Lord that it is improving with time.  3. Separation from husband kids - I fear my family being split up by death. My family is my passion and if one of them was no longer with us I don't think I would handle that very well AT ALL. (who would?!) I worry about something happening and a lot of times will jump to worse case conclusions - like if my husband doesn't answer his phone, or Brayce slept 12 hours and still is quiet, etc etc. I know someday it will happen and then we will be in Heaven w/ God but until then I like my family right by my side being safe.  Some other fears: the dark, being home alone, the boogie man, spiders (all bugs), the outdoors, large crowds, being trapped...   I try not to let fear control me. God is in control of my life and He wants good things for us. (Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.") 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." By choosing a relationship with Jesus Christ we do not have to fear these earthly things. He conquered death and sin and we can have HOPE!  We should fear Him alone.

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