Mar 3, 2012

Behind the Scenes

A girlfriend of mine wrote a blog the other day, http://www.jillnjake.com/2012/02/behind-scenes.html I loved it and knew I wanted to do my own. :) but check out her page for fun blog posts and great Godly wisdom.

The Internet is such an amazing thing. It can do endless things and so much more that we can't even imagine! One of its best tricks is it can hide who we are. I'm not talking identity theft and stalking people or being a secret 1-900# girl. Im talking this is the official KC twitter and Facebook account. The place I can put what I want out there and hide the rest. I can choose what to say.
There are 2 extremes on here and some people have figured out the happy medium. We have the people that think social media is their personal online diary - where they can put anything and everything on their statuses (or is that stati?). Where they think as long as they don't put a name with it it's ok to be mean and hateful. They think it's ok to bash their spouse, friends, and jobs. (hello! You can lose your job, friends, and even marriage over this!) yes we have the freedom of speech and it is "our page" but we need to practice wisdom and restraint in some of the things we say! There are too many pictures on Facebook pages... You know the ones that are from a higher angle with pursed lips and cleavage. Girls! Have some respect for yourselves and choose modesty. Protect yourself and the boys that will see this picture. Yes you may be gorgeous but portray beauty not sexy... If you have 50 likes and comments from boys saying dang girl it's probably not an appropriate picture. Sorry, end tangent! - not the point of this post but hey freedom of speech right?! :)
The other end of the spectrum are the people who are so cryptic they don't even know what they are saying. They hide who they are and don't want to open up to anyone. Or maybe just the people who don't actually update anything personally but creep everyone else! - but please be smart when it comes social media don't put all your personal information out so people can find you and unfollow and defriend strangers and weirdos - the creepy ones. - (After 6 weeks off of facebook, I went through and deleted over 300 people on Facebook that I never had contact with online and barely knew - I wanted to be a little more selective of who I shared my life with. If you've never done this I encourage you to. It's a hard to describe feeling. Like a freeing feeling.)
Another side note: be careful of using social media as a place for ALL of your interactions. I spent all day with a person and thought it was a great day but later checked Facebook and realized this person had such a bad day they wanted to give up! Reach out to those around you for love support and a hug.

Oh my I've gotten side tracked! ...
There's another way of using social media to hide who you are But I guess I wouldn't really call it hiding. Airing your dirty laundry vs being fake - we must find the balance in this. Never ever ever bash your spouse in a public forum but if you are struggling you don't have to update about being the luckiest gal alive because your man hung the moon.
No ones life is perfect. We all struggle. We all have personal battles. Be careful to judge yourself against anyone else's life especially if you are getting all the details just from their Facebook page.
Some people really are as happy as they appear to be. Leave them alone don't spread rumors or even truths about what their marriage is like!
I always think twice, sometimes 3 times before I put anything out on the web. How does this sound? Who will it effect? Is it going to hurt somebody? Is it going to cause conflict? Am I glorifying God? Would I say this to someone's face? What is the point of putting out there? Is this something I should be talking to my husband about not my 10000 fb friends? Etc etc etc

Okay so I do live in a happy little bubble. I don't watch the news because I don't like hearing depressing stories. I love to be an encourager and I am 100% a family (wo)man. But here are a few "behind the scenes" of my life:

1. I am shy. I get nervous when having conversations with most people. I second guess what I say out loud and fear like sounding like an idiot. (If I start babbling please stop me.)
2. I am lonely at times because I don't have any girlfriends here that I can hang out with.
3. I am not myself when I am hungry, hot, or stressed. Watch out because irritable grumpy KC comes out!
4. I do not think I am talented or gifted. And this plays a big role in photography. I lack confidence.
5. I let my fears stand in the way of doing things. And I'm afraid of a lot of things.
6. I seek approval and affirmation from people.
7. I struggle with the importance of being a stay at home mom. I always thought I would have a career in the business world. I struggle with "I'm wasting my life" by not being a doctor.
8. I am not sure where God wants me to be in ministry.
9. Silence or being invisible to certain people tears me up inside and really hurts my heart.
10. I wish I could go back and say "I'm sorry" to everybody I hurt in my past. And to tell all the people from high school I'm sorry and I'm not that same mean person.
11. My husband deserves better than me but has a forgiving heart.
12. Being a mother is the biggest responsibility I will ever have and sometimes I fear they will grow up in my footsteps.. Making the bad decisions in life like I did. And building wounds and scar tissue.
13. I have a fear of my family of 4 being separated. I want to all grow very old together.
14. I think I put too many pictures on Facebook. I do it for a few reasons. 1 a great place to go back and look at my fav pics from each month. 2 to share with my family that lies hours away. And 3 I love likes and comments from my fb friends.

I am not a perfect mom or wife. I do not have it all together and I'm sorry if it comes across like I do. I only want to encourage and be a light for Christ. I am truly happy and filled with joy. Even With my struggles I do my best to turn them to positives and look how they are a blessing in my life! I am a very honest person and I do not sugar coat. I am just me.

If you made it to this part of this post congratulations because it was much longer than I had planned lol! I did not write this post foot have a pity party or to fish for compliments. I just wanted to share a little of me and encourage you to look at who you are especially on the web.

3 comments:

  1. I finished the whole thing :) Just because I like affirmation and so I thought you sould know that I got a congrats from ya... Thanks for sharing this. I relate to a lot of it... especially second guessing everything you say. Every time I write a blogpost I reread it a few times and think... do I really want to post that? Keep it up girlie.

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  2. Thanks for sharing! I could ditto almost everything you said! I loved reading this!

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  3. Stephanie GentemanMarch 3, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    Affirmation to you!

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